Chapter 4

We woke up in time to say goodbye to Tommy before he left for school on Wednesday. Charlie had already left for work, so we dropped by the station on our way out of town. Charlie appreciated the gesture and insisted we call him when we made it to my house.

The first hour of our drive passed in silence. Bella stared out the window and sighed every now and then. I couldn’t let it go any further.

“Hey, beautiful, what’s got you so distracted?” I pulled her hand to my lips and placed a gentle kiss on it.

“Nothing,” she answered with a sigh.

“You’re a terrible liar. Something is bothering you, so spill, Swan,” I said, teasingly.

“I’m just worried about Tommy. Something isn’t quite right about Drew. I can’t put my finger on it. I just get this creepy feeling about her.” Bella looked out the window again and shuddered.

“I get the same feeling, love. There is no way she’s eighteen.” Then I added, “You were distant throughout dinner last night. Is something else wrong?”

“Edward, if I ask you something, will you please answer truthfully? Please don’t spare my feelings. Be brutally honest,” she pleaded.

“I’m always honest with you, Bella. Why would that stop now?”

“I know you are. Please just let me finish this before you jump in, okay?”

“I promise. Now what is bothering you?”

She took in a deep breath then took me by complete surprise with her response. “Why do you love me? You are an amazing man who is devastatingly handsome. Why aren’t you in love with someone who’s gorgeous like Drew or Rose? There is nothing extraordinary about me. I’m plain, boring, and come with a ton of emotional baggage. I just don’t understand why you continue to put up with me.” Bella had a few tears rolling down her cheek by the time she finished.

I pulled the car to the side of the road and pulled Bella into the back seat. I cradled her in my arms for a few minutes before I pulled up her chin to look her in the eyes.

“Bella, you are the most beautiful woman in the world. No one can even compare. Yes, Drew and Rose are pretty, but their beauty pales in comparison to yours. I love you because you are loyal, honest, fierce, tenacious, highly intelligent, and truly fascinating. Your emotional baggage, as you like to call it, makes you the wonderful person you are. Honestly, I have emotional baggage too and can’t believe you still love me. Please don’t ever doubt the power you hold over me.” I gently pressed my lips to hers. She hesitated at first but suddenly attacked my lips with intense passion. I greedily accepted. We kissed for a few minutes before I pulled away, leaving her pouting.

“I’m sorry, love, but we really do need to get back on the road. Charlie will worry if we don’t call him in a reasonable amount of time. The last thing we need is the chief calling out a search party for us.”

Bella hesitantly nodded her head and climbed back into the front seat. I settled in the driver’s seat and pulled back onto the road.

“So, what are we going to do about Drew?” Bella asked me. “I don’t trust her, and I’m worried about Tommy.”

“I’m not sure yet. I want to talk to Emmett and Jasper about it. They might have a few suggestions. I thought about inviting Drew here for Christmas, but I’m not completely comfortable with her knowing where my house is. It feels like our only safe haven.” I grabbed Bella’s hand.

“I know what you mean. It’s the only place James never knew about, and it feels like my security blanket. When I step through your front door I feel so safe. I don’t want that to ever change.”

“Don’t worry, love. I won’t let it.” Bella smiled and started staring out the window again.

We made it home about one o’clock. Esme pulled Bella into a motherly hug the moment she stepped into the house. I needed to find time to be alone with Esme. I needed her advice on proposing to Bella. I was so nervous about screwing the whole thing up, and I wanted it to be so perfect.

I took our bags to my room and joined Bella and my mom in the kitchen. They were both beaming when I walked in the room.

“I’m so glad you’re home for a while. I’ve missed both of you terribly.” Esme was beaming.

“We’ve missed you too. We actually need your help. We won’t be returning to the dorm next semester. I was able to get us into an apartment, so we need your help shopping for furniture.”

Esme’s smile widened, and she started bouncing where she stood. That was the first time I saw where Alice got her energy from. “Oh, Edward, I would love to shop with the two of you. When do you want to go?”

“Well, I need to do some Christmas shopping today, so how bout we go furniture shopping this weekend.”

Bella started pouting. “I don’t want to shop at all.”

I stepped behind Bella and wrapped my arms around her waist. I leaned into her ear. “Love, you don’t have to go if you don’t want to. I actually don’t want you there when I go Christmas shopping.” She groaned. She obviously knew I wanted to shop for her. “If you don’t want to shop for furniture, Mom and I can go, but you can’t complain about anything we buy.”

Bella thought about that for a few minutes. She turned in my arms and wrapped her arms around my neck. “I promise not to complain about anything you and Esme buy if I don’t have to go with you.”

“You’ve got a deal, beautiful.” I sealed our agreement with a kiss.

Alice and Emmett came home an hour later. We heard Bella’s ancient truck coming down the drive. Mom told me to store all of Bella’s items in the basement for now. We decided we could use a few of her appliances in the new apartment as well as her bookshelf. We were going to donate the rest of the items we wouldn’t need to Good will.

Alice kidnapped Bella and was holding her hostage in her room. She was torturing her with manicures and girl talk. I had decided that was the perfect time to do my Christmas shopping. I was relieved when Esme asked to go with me. I really needed her advice on proposing to Bella. I was so nervous. I wanted everything to be perfect.

I was distant and fidgety the entire time we were shopping. Esme finally had enough and called me out on it.

“Edward, what’s wrong? Your mind isn’t here. You know you can talk to me about anything.”

I sighed. “I know. I’ve tried to work this out on my own, but I just can’t get it right in my head. I want to propose to Bella. I want it to be perfect, but I can’t seem to get it right. Do you have any suggestions?”

Esme gasped. “I can’t believe it. I was excited when you told me to get Elizabeth’s ring cleaned and sized, but I didn’t realize you would be asking Bella so quickly. I’m so proud of you. She is truly your other half. Do you have any ideas?”

“Well, I’ve already played her the song I wrote for her, so that’s out of the question. We had a quiet dinner at home when I told her I loved her, so I can’t do that again. Do you remember that meadow that’s nestled in the woods behind the house?” She nodded her head yes. “Well, I was thinking about taking her on a romantic picnic in the meadow.”

“Oh, Edward, that would be perfect. I’ll pack the picnic for you. Is there still a clearing in the middle for a small fire?”

“Yes. You are a genius, Mom. I want to do this as soon as possible. I don’t think tomorrow would be good. I have an appointment with Dr. Young, so the mood wouldn’t be right. Maybe I could do it on Friday.”

“That sounds wonderful, Edward. Why don’t I keep the picnic simple? I know Bella doesn’t like it when people make a fuss over her. I’ll have some fresh fruit, cheese, sandwiches, and some chocolate to dip the fruit in. Do you think she would like that?” Esme was making a list as she spoke.

“That sounds perfect.” I gave her a quick hug, and we made our way to the grocery store.

We snuck everything into the house once we arrived home. Mom and I brought Chinese takeout home for dinner since we took so long shopping. I rescued Bella from Alice, and we ate dinner alone in my room. It was nice having a peaceful evening wrapped in each other’s arms. We talked about our new apartment and the type of furniture she liked. She gave me a lot of ideas to work from for when Esme and I went shopping this weekend.

Bella agreed to go with me to my therapy tomorrow. I didn’t think Dr. Young would want her to join me in the session, but I felt comforted knowing that Bella would be in the waiting room when I was done. I had a feeling this would become a regular appointment for me and would eventually like Bella to join me. I had a feeling she could benefit as much as I would from the sessions.

I slept a little longer that night. It was comforting being at home. Bella being in my arms all night only made it better. I still had nightmares, though. I had the same one with Drew killing Tommy. My subconscious really didn’t like this girl.

Dr. Young’s office hadn’t changed since I was last here. It was comforting. The walls were a warm beige color. She had several fluffy couches and chairs lining the walls. I checked in with Leah, the receptionist, and sat with Bella on one of the couches. She grabbed the latest Reader’s Digest that was on the side table and started reading. Dr. Young opened her door a minute later.

“Hello, Edward. Please, come in.” She smiled warmly at Bella and motioned me into her office, which was warm and welcoming. The walls were beige like her waiting room. There was a plush couch along the wall beside the door and two beige overstuffed chairs in front of her desk. She had several cherry wood bookshelves behind her desk. They were full of different books, movies, and children’s games. Dr. Young had patients of all ages, but she specialized in children. I saw her calm a terrified child in the waiting room once and was in complete awe. She was amazing. I was lucky to have found her.

I sat in one of the chairs in front of her desk.

“It’s nice to see you again, Edward. I just wish it was under better circumstances. Tell me what brings you to see me today.” She pulled out a fresh legal pad and started taking notes.

“It’s good to see you again, too.” I looked at the floor, trying to gather the courage to open up to Dr. Young. “Well, I’ve been having nightmares and can’t sleep.”

“The last time you were here we briefly touched on your dreams. They didn’t seem so severe. What has changed?”

“Everything. I met the woman of my dreams,” I said wistfully. Dr. Young smiled.

“That’s wonderful, Edward. Please tell me about her.” I told her all about how we met, how she made me feel, and finally all about Bella and James and the ordeal we recently survived. She didn’t say a word, but her pen was going nonstop on the paper. We sat there in silence for about five minutes while she finished writing her notes.

“You’ve had quite a lot going on the last few months. Bella sounds like a wonderful young lady. She’s very lucky to have found you,” she smiled.

“No, Dr. Young, I’m the lucky one. She makes me want to be a better person.”

“I’m very proud of you, Edward. You have grown so much from the sixteen year old who sat in my office a few years ago. I think your mind is trying to deal with all of the stress of the ordeal with James and your relationship with Bella. I can see how much you love her. I would like to see you on a regular basis for a while. I would also like to have Bella join you every now and then.”

“I will do whatever it takes to get through all of this. Bella means everything to me, and I want to be the man she deserves.”

“Edward, you are the man she deserves. Don’t ever think otherwise. You said your father wrote you a prescription for sleeping pills. How are those working for you?”

“Fine. They’ve helped me get a few more hours of sleep the past few nights. I don’t want to take them unless I need sleep. They helped me get through finals and stay awake during the drive to and from Forks.”

“Again, I’m very proud of you Edward. A lot of people would use the sleeping pills as a crutch. I will write you a new prescription so you will have them if you need them. I would like to see you once a week for the next month. I would also like to have Bella present during your next session. I want to get a chance to know her and see the two of you interact. I have a feeling she will be key to conquering your dreams.” Dr. Young handed me the prescription and walked around the front of the desk.

I shook her hand and thanked her for all of her help. Bella was patiently waiting where I left her when I returned to the waiting room. She looked up at me and smiled. It was so glorious.

Dr. Young told Leah to set me up with weekly appointments for the next month. She then turned to us and introduced herself to Bella. “Hello, I’m Dr. Emily Young. It’s wonderful to meet you, Bella.”

Bella timidly took Dr. Young’s hand. “It’s a pleasure to meet you Dr. Young.”

“If you wouldn’t be opposed to it, I would love to have you join one of Edward’s sessions in the next few weeks. You are a huge part of his life, and I would love to see the two of you interact.”

“I would like that very much.”

“Great. I will let Edward know which session I would like that to be and make sure he brings you with him. Remember to use the prescription if you need to, Edward. Everyone needs help sometimes. Don’t be afraid to ask for it.” Dr. Young shook my hand and headed back into her office.

It was nice to talk with someone and get everything off my chest. I hoped these weekly appointments would help me deal with what was bothering me and allow me to move on. I wanted to have a fresh start with Bella and not have ghosts haunting our future.

We arrived home to find everyone gathered in the living room watching a movie. Mom had actually ordered pizza for dinner and left some in the fridge for Bella and me. We quickly ate dinner and joined everyone in the living room. My father tapped me on my shoulder and asked me to join him in his office. I quickly followed him.

“Edward, how did things go today?”

“It went fine. I’ll be seeing Dr. Young weekly for the next month. She wants to have Bella join one of the sessions. I have a really good feeling about this. I think it’ll be a huge help.” I couldn’t help the smile that graced my lips.

“It is wonderful to hear you being this receptive to therapy. I still remember the fight you put up the first time we mentioned it when you were sixteen. If you didn’t want to drive so badly, I don’t think we would’ve ever gotten you into a single session. I think joining one of your sessions will be great for Bella. I know she has a therapist in Forks, but I really feel that she could benefit from a few sessions following the incident with James.” I could see the wheels in Carlisle’s head turning. I agreed with him. Bella seemed to be handling everything wonderfully, but a few sessions could only solidify her closure with the situation. Maybe Dr. Young would be able to help with that.

“How are your classes going?”

I was wondering how long it would take Carlisle to get around to my classes. I was still undecided on my major. Music was such an intense passion, but I also wanted to be a doctor. I had been trying to find the balance between the two. I was leaning more towards majoring in pre-med and taking a few music courses as electives. I felt a stronger calling toward medicine, especially after meeting Bella. I wanted us to have a solid future, and being a doctor made more practical sense.

“Classes went really well this semester. I’m ready to focus more on my required classes for my medical major this semester.”

Carlisle’s eyes lit up. “So, you’ve decided on medical school over music?”

“I wouldn’t put it that way. Music will always be close to my heart, but a career as a doctor makes better sense. Just because I don’t choose music as a career doesn’t mean I have to completely give it up. I can compose and play for the pure joy of it without the pressure of being a success.”

“I’m proud of you, Edward. You are thinking like a man planning for a future. Possibly a future with a family?” I knew what Carlisle was thinking.

“Yes. I plan on making Bella my wife and want nothing more than to have children with her. I don’t want us to have to worry about where the next pay check will come from. I truly love the idea of being a doctor and helping people, so it’s a win-win situation.”

The rest of the night was spent watching movies. Bella fell asleep in my arms in the middle of the second movie. I happily carried her to bed shortly after she was sleeping. I crawled into bed with her and pulled her close to me. This was home. Bella wrapped in my arms in my parents’ house was pure bliss.

I felt happier than I had in a long time. Between my therapy session, my plans for Bella’s proposal, and my plans for my career, I was flying high. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted off my shoulders. I wasn’t nervous about asking Bella to marry me. Her sleep talking gave me the confidence I needed to ask her that most important question.

I closed my eyes and expected to lie there over half the night just imagining how perfect tomorrow would be. I quickly slipped into the peaceful oblivion of sleep. It felt like I had only shut my eyes a few minutes ago when feather-light kisses pulled me out of my peaceful sleep. I slowly opened my eyes to find the sun shining bright and Bella kissing down my neck.

“Good morning, handsome,” she purred.

“Morning, beautiful. I like being woken up like that. Think we can make that happen every morning?” I tightened my arms around her waist.

“Actually it’s not morning. It’s one in the afternoon. I don’t mind waking you up that way when I actually wake up before you. That was a rather pleasant surprise. I hated waking you up, but I just couldn’t resist any longer. My lips are drawn to your skin like a magnet.”

“You can wake me like that any time. You will never hear complaints from me. I have a special day planned for us. I need you to dress warm, wear jeans, and comfortable shoes. We’ll be spending some time outside today.” I kissed the tip of her nose and rolled out of bed.

Bella pushed out her bottom lip into an adorable pout. “What are we doing?”

“It’s a surprise. I promise you will love it. I’m going to take a shower down the hall. Take your time getting ready and find something to occupy your time until I’m ready to start our day.” I gathered my clothes and headed for the door.

“Don’t I get any other hints?” She continued to pout.

“Nope,” I said, popping the p.

“Fine,” she whined.

I blew her a kiss as I walked out the door. I quickly took a shower and dressed for the day. I found Esme downstairs putting the finishing touch on our picnic feast. I took my time wandering through the house gathering all the essentials we would need for our time in the meadow. I gathered a few thick quilts and fluffy throw pillows, my anywhere speakers for my iPod, and some firewood and lighting materials for our campfire. I grabbed the picnic basket in my free hand on my way out the door.

The meadow was only a five minute walk into the woods. I quickly laid out the blankets and arranged the pillows. I set up the speakers and my iPod next to the blankets. Esme was kind enough to include a bottle of champagne in the picnic basket. She was as confident as I was that we would have something to celebrate. I set up the wood in the small clearing. Everything was ready, so I hurried back to the house.

Gathering everything and setting up the meadow took up most of the afternoon. It was four o’clock by the time I made my way back to the house. I was anxious to get our romantic picnic started.

I found Bella in Alice’s room. I rushed in and threw her over my shoulder. I finally put her on her feet when we made it to the bottom of the stairs. I handed Bella her coat and gloves and quickly put mine on. I grabbed her hand and pulled her out the back door. She got a nervous look on her face when we started walking into the woods.

“Edward, I’m not the best person to take on a walk through the woods, especially in a cast. I trip over air, so avoiding roots and rocks are not something I’m good at,” she teased.

“No worries, love. We won’t be walking long. I promise.” I brought her hand to my lips and placed a small kiss on it.

She sighed and continued walking. We were almost to the meadow when I stopped her. I stepped behind her and placed my hands over her eyes. I surprised her, and she gasped.

“Trust me, love. I want you to be surprised when you see where we are.” She nodded and relaxed for me.

I slowly pushed her into the meadow and stopped her once she had taken five steps inside. “Please keep your eyes closed until I say open them.” She nodded, and I quickly sprinted to the blankets and took a seat. “Okay, love, open your beautiful brown eyes.”

She slowly opened her eyes, and her hand flew to her mouth as she let out a gasp. “Edward, this is beautiful.” She was frozen in place in complete awe of the natural beauty of the meadow. “I’ve dreamt of this place. It is exactly like my dreams,” she said wistfully.

“Come, sit with me.” I held my arms out to her. She stood there another minute, taking in the beauty of the meadow. She sighed and slowly made her way to the blankets. She sank into the blankets next to me. I pulled her close to me and slowly stroked her cheek. She was beautiful in the light of the setting sun. She shivered.

“Are you cold, love? I can start a fire.”

“That would be great.”

It took me a few minutes to get the fire going. Once it was started, we both warmed up pretty quickly. It was enough to keep the cool air from freezing us. I grabbed one of the extra blankets I brought and draped it over our laps. I reached behind me and started my Love playlist on my iPod. It was all of the sappy love songs that reminded me of Bella. She smirked at me and leaned in to place a chaste kiss on my cheek.

“This is wonderful, Edward. Thank you so much for doing all of this for me.”

“We’re just getting started, love. There’s still a lot more to come.” I gently kissed her lips then reached back to the basket. I pulled out the fruit, chocolate dip, and cheese first.

I picked up a strawberry and dipped it into the chocolate. I held it to Bella’s lips and slowly traced them with the chocolate-covered fruit, leaving a light coating on her lips. I put the strawberry down on a plate and leaned in to slowly lick the chocolate from her lips. She moaned and pulled me closer for a kiss. Our tongues mingling together with the remnants of the chocolate were heavenly. We continued the same routine until all the fruit was gone. Bella pouted when I told her there was no more.

We finished eating the sandwiches and cheese Esme packed for us. Bella seemed to be enjoying herself.

“Did you do this picnic all on your own?” She smirked.

“No. Esme planned the wonderful food, prepared it, and packed it for us. I will be sure and thank her tomorrow for an excellent job.” I slowly kissed my way down her neck while I was talking. Bella shivered, and I pulled away from her.

“Please don’t stop,” she begged.

I stood up and held my hand out for her. “Please dance with me.”

She grabbed my hand and slowly stood up. She wrapped her hands around my neck and laid her head on my shoulder. We slowly swayed to the music for about ten minutes. I was in heaven. My mind wandered, and I thought about her dream of us being married in a meadow. That was when her earlier words finally clicked. This was the meadow she saw us being married in.

I stopped dancing and looked deep into Bella’s eyes.

“Bella, I can’t begin to tell you how much I love you. You are my world. Every decision I make revolves around you and your happiness. I love everything about you. I love the way you bite your bottom lip when you’re nervous or are concentrating extremely hard. I love the way you mumble my name in your sleep. I love the way you mold perfectly to my body when I pull you in for a kiss. Bella, I was made for you,” I slowly dropped to one knee and pulled my mother’s ring from my pocket, “and I pray that you will do me the honor of becoming my wife. My life is nothing without you, and I want you by my side forever.”

Bella gasped when she looked at the ring. Tears were falling down her cheeks. She was beyond beautiful. She pulled her beautiful bottom lip between her teeth and slowly nodded her head. “Of course I’ll marry you,” she whispered.

I slid my mother’s ring onto her finger and jumped to my feet. I pulled her close to me and gave her a gentle kiss. The kiss quickly turned passionate, and we had to pull away to breathe.

“Edward, this ring is beautiful. When did you have time to look for it?” My mother’s ring was a beautiful eighteen-karat white gold Edwardian style ring with a one carat diamond in the center. The band was ornately decorated with smaller diamonds throughout.

I couldn’t stop the smirk from forming. “It was my mother’s ring. Esme had it cleaned and sized for me and ready to slide onto your finger.”

“Oh, Edward, I can’t believe you would give me your mother’s ring. I will treasure it always.”

“I wouldn’t want this ring on anyone else’s hand. It looks perfect on yours. You have made me the happiest man on earth. I love you, Isabella Marie Swan.”

“And I love you, Edward Anthony Masen Cullen. I can’t wait until the day I can be Mrs. Cullen.” She pulled me in for another passionate kiss.

I wanted to stay all night in the meadow holding my wonderful fiancée. Unfortunately, we both started shivering, so we packed everything up, put out the fire and doused the embers with water, and slowly made our way back to the house.

Everyone was anxiously waiting for us when we walked through the door. Alice darted straight into Bella’s arms.

“Let me see the ring,” she demanded.

Bella held her left hand out for Alice to examine. “It’s perfect. Bella, this ring was made for you,” she gushed. Bella blushed and squeezed my hand.

Everyone hugged Bella and shook my hand. The entire family was excited that Bella would soon be an official Cullen. I looked at Bella and noticed she was beaming with pride. She was proud to be my fiancée. My heart swelled with the love I felt for this amazing woman.

We were finally able to pull away from our family and make our way up to my room. Actually, we were now able to start calling it our room. That sounded so wonderful. From this day forward, everything that was mine would be hers. I couldn’t believe she said yes and this wonderful woman wanted me.

We made love well into the night. It was even sweeter knowing that she had agreed to be my wife. My life was slowly falling into place. I had my mother’s ring on my love’s finger, I had decided on my career, and was actually looking forward to my sessions with Dr. Young. My life felt like it had fallen into place and life was great. I couldn’t imagine what life could throw my way that I couldn’t face with Bella by my side.