Chapter 12

The next week was a whirlwind of activity. Bella and I were so excited that we'd be moving into our new apartment on Friday. We spent the next few days doing our laundry, finishing my packing, and doing last minute shopping.

The days were so full of activity that they flew by. The nights, however, were tortuously long. I was only allowed a few hours of sleep before my nightmares would wake me. I spent a lot of my nights writing in my dream journal and my journal about my mother. My dreams still centered on Victoria killing my mother. I just kept praying we could end this mess with Victoria soon and I could get my life back on track.

I spent the better part of Thursday evening in my father’s office trying to arrange an appointment for Bella. The only time dad could fit Bella in to remove her cast was during my appointment with Dr. Young on Monday. I had begged my dad to work out another time. I simply had to be there with Bella for her appointment. Dad’s schedule was booked the entire week, and Bella couldn’t wait to have the cast removed. I finally decided the easiest solution was to change my appointment with Dr. Young. My dad was not pleased with that decision.

“Edward, Bella will be fine. It’s not like she will be seeing a complete stranger,” he scolded.

I sighed. “I know. I just can’t bear to not be with her for this appointment.”

“This isn’t a major appointment. I’m simply going to be removing her cast. Once it’s been removed, I’ll examine her leg and then send her to be evaluated for physical therapy. This isn’t her first broken bone. Her medical records show that she is an old pro at this.”

I ran my fingers through my hair in frustration. I heard Dr. Young’s words echoing in the back of my head. I needed to not make everything about Bella. If I changed my therapy appointment because of Bella, then she would be upset. I knew she was right. Bella would also feel guilty, and I couldn’t do that to her.

“Okay, Dad. You’re right. She can handle this. I’ll drop her off on my way to Dr. Young’s office. Will she be at the PT center by the time I’m done?”

“Yes, Edward. It won’t take me more than an hour to remove the cast and examine her leg.”

We were interrupted by a tiny knock on the door. “Come in,” Carlisle answered.

Bella peeked her head around the door to my father’s office. “Edward, are you ready to head to bed? We’ve got a long day ahead of us tomorrow.”

“I’m ready, love. Your appointment with Dad to get your cast removed is Monday at nine.” I stood up and laced my fingers with hers.

“Oh. Don’t you have your appointment with Dr. Young at the same time?”

“Yes. I’ll drop you off at the hospital and then go to my appointment.”

“Okay,” she said, biting her bottom lip.

“Bella, I can change my appointment with Dr. Young if you want me to be with you.”

“No. Don’t change your appointment. I’ll be fine. You’d be bored anyway. You know, your entire life doesn’t revolve around me, Edward. We are capable of doing things on our own from time to time,” she smirked.

“I know.” I brought Bella’s hand to my lips and placed a gentle kiss on her knuckles. I couldn’t help but think about how proud Dr. Young was going to be that I was following her advice.

I didn’t sleep more than a few hours that night. I was excited to be finally moving into our new apartment. Of course my nightmares decided to strike with a vengeance as well. I still dreamed of Victoria attacking my mother. This time instead of witnessing the attack, I walked into my new apartment to find my mother’s lifeless body in the middle of my living room and Victoria beaming with pride from the kitchen. I was startled awake when Bella walked into the kitchen and Victoria plunged a knife into her heart. I spent the rest of the sleepless night writing in both of my journals.

***

Friday was an exhausting day. The whole house was up at the crack of dawn. The entire day was spent moving everything from my parents’ house to our new apartments. Everyone’s furniture was delivered after lunch. I was so relieved when the security system was installed. It felt like another barrier to keep Victoria out of our lives. I wanted our home to be a place Bella could retreat to and not fear what she would find when she opened the door.

We spent the rest of the weekend unpacking, arranging furniture, and organizing everything. Bella and I were completely exhausted Sunday evening. We relaxed in our new bed and both of us quickly fell asleep. I was so wiped that I didn’t dream at all that night.

Neither one of us wanted to get out of bed on Monday when the alarm went off. I quickly turned it off and pulled Bella closer to my body. Bella groaned and tightened her hold on me.

“Edward, can we please just stay in bed today? I’m still beat from moving.”

“I’m sorry, beautiful, but we have to get up.”

“Why?” She whined.

“Aren’t you ready to get that cast removed from your leg?”

Bella’s head popped up when she realized what today was. “Why are we laying in bed? We need to get moving.” She jumped out of bed and ripped the covers off of me.

“Bella, what the hell?”

“Come on, Edward. Help me wrap my cast one last time.”

“I thought you were an old pro and could do it yourself,” I teased.

Bella sighed and rolled her eyes. “Why should I do it myself when I have a very capable guy willing to do anything to help get me naked and wet?”

I sighed. “Bella, you are going to be the death of me.”

“You know you love it.” She winked and hobbled into the bathroom.

I wrapped Bella’s cast one last time, helped her get into the shower, and left her there alone. There was no time for shower fun together. We both had appointments to get to and Bella needed to check on her class schedule. Some of her classes had a possibility of not making it on the schedule this semester due to lack of interest.

After much teasing from Bella we finally made it out of the apartment ten minutes later than I planned. I sped through the streets of Portland trying to get Bella and me to our appointments on time. She only complained about my driving once.

“Edward, I would like my visit to the hospital to not include a trip to the ER because you wrapped your precious Volvo around a telephone pole.” Bella rolled her eyes.

“Bella, my love, I would never do anything to harm the most precious thing in my life. It would kill me if I got even one scratch on my baby. I couldn’t handle the mental anguish from harming the Volvo.” I turned toward Bella and found her seething.

“Edward,” she said through clenched teeth.

“Bella, you know I’m just messing with you. I would never do anything to harm you. You are irreplaceable in my life.” I brushed her cheek with the back of my hand, and Bella leaned into my touch.

The rest of the drive was spent in companionable silence. I made it there with plenty of time to walk Bella into my dad’s office. We ran into Carlisle in the lobby, and he escorted Bella the rest of the way to his office. I glanced at my watch and saw I was finally five minutes ahead of schedule. My speeding paid off.

My session with Dr. Young was very good. I told her all about my argument with Carlisle over changing Bella’s appointment. She was beaming with pride when I told her how I remembered her advice from our last session and decided to keep my appointment and deal with not being with her for hers.

“Edward, this is a major step for you. How did Bella feel about going to her appointment without you?”

“She was apprehensive at first, but then she realized it was unavoidable. She was not happy at the thought of me changing or canceling my appointment with you.”

“I knew Bella would be good for you. I can’t begin to tell you how happy it makes me that she is concerned with your needs. Relationships are all about give and take. How have you been sleeping?”

“I keep having the dreams. I was so exhausted from moving that last night was the best night’s sleep I’ve had in forever.”

“Edward, your body was in desperate need of that sleep. The stress and activity from the move was the final catalyst to cause your mind and body to totally shut down. It is not healthy to be driven to that point. Are you still dreaming about Victoria?”

I nodded. “She and my mother are in every dream.”

“This week I want you to really think about your mother. Write down every thing you feel about her. I want to examine what might be causing her to play a starring role in your dreams. I understand why Victoria haunts them. Bring your journal about your mother next week and we’ll try to get some answers.”

After setting up my next appointment around my class schedule, I hurried back to the hospital to pick up Bella. I found her still in my father’s office. That worried me. She should’ve been finished with him and going through her physical therapy evaluation.

“Hey, beautiful. Why aren’t you getting physical therapy scheduled? Was there a problem?”

“No. I’m already done. Your dad is like Speedy Gonzalez when comes to removing casts. The physical therapist would like to see me twice a week for the next month. The bone seems to be healed very nicely, but I lost some muscle strength. I need to head to campus and verify my schedule before I set up my PT times.”

Bella was able to take all of the classes she had signed up for. We hit the bookstore and grabbed everything we would need for the spring semester before heading back to our apartment. I was surprised when we found a bouquet of blush roses sitting in front of our door. Bella gasped, and then froze when she saw the flowers. I didn’t have to look at the card to know they were from Victoria. I couldn’t help but grin when I realized she wouldn’t be able to leave little gifts like these in our apartment thanks to the wonderful security system we had installed. My grin turned into a sneer when I read the note Victoria left with the flowers.

Edward,

I’ve become bored playing with Bella. She was always James’ favorite plaything. Personally, I never could see the attraction. I think it is time to start playing with you. Too bad I don’t know where Mommy and Daddy Cullen live. I would love to play with them like I did the Sinclairs. That was quite the party. I promise you that I will take my time and play with everyone you care about until you are left all alone. I just can’t decide if I want to start with Bella or save her for last.

Victoria

I couldn’t believe she was ignorant enough to mention the Sinclairs in her note. I quickly dialed Detective Aro and told him about the flowers and the note. He told me to not touch the note anymore than necessary and place it in a zip lock baggie so I could bring it to the station in the morning. He wanted to have it checked for prints and fibers.

Once the note was situated on the bar in the ziplock baggie, I grabbed our messenger bags and met Bella in the living room. We needed to clean out our junk from last semester. Bella still had a lot of junk in her bag. I was shocked to find four envelopes addressed to me, Charlie, Tommy, Alice, Em, Jasper, and Rose. The names were written in Bella’s handwriting.

“Bella, what are these?”

“I forgot about those,” she whispered. “Those are the goodbye letters I wrote in December before I went to meet James. I was afraid I wouldn’t make it out of there alive and couldn’t bear the thought of not saying goodbye.” Tears had started rolling down her cheeks.

I pulled Bella onto my lap and gently rubbed her back. “Bella, I still can’t believe you went to meet him like that. I was terrified when you never came out of your class. I almost went crazy when I went back to your dorm room and found your message to James.”

“I didn’t know what else to do at the time, Edward. I couldn’t bear the thought of James hurting any of my family and friends. If James would’ve hurt you, I would’ve never forgiven myself. I did the only thing that I thought would keep you safe.”

“I know. Please don’t ever do something like that again. You can always talk to me about anything or anyone that is causing you problems.” Bella nodded her head in understanding. “Do you mind if I read my letter?”

Bella sat quietly for a few minutes thinking about her answer. “If you really want to.”

I grabbed the envelope with my name on it and slowly opened it. I started to read it and couldn’t stop the tears that started to fall.

My Dearest Edward,

I don’t even know where to begin. You have changed my life in so many wonderful ways. You taught me how to love and how to face the world. I cherished every moment we spent together. My only regret is that we can’t have a future together. I knew James would eventually find me. I’m just glad he waited long enough for me to find you and give you my heart.

Please don’t shut yourself off from the world after I’m gone. You are a wonderful man and still have so much love left to give. Please find someone to share that love with.

I love you with all of my heart and soul.

Eternally yours,

Bella

I laid the note on the couch next to me and pulled Bella closer to me. I felt like I couldn’t hold on to her tight enough. I still couldn’t believe she was willing to sacrifice her own life to keep my family and me safe from James.

“Bella, I don’t deserve a woman as wonderful as you,” I choked out through my tears.

“Edward, don’t ever say that. You are such an amazing man. I don’t know how I ever got lucky enough for you to love me.”

“You deserve so much more than I’m able to give you, love. I will never stop trying to be the best man I can be for you. I never want to love another woman the way I love you. I don’t think it’s even possible.” I gently kissed the top of her head.

Bella and I sat there crying and holding each other tight for about an hour. I couldn’t find the strength to let her go. How could she ever think I would find happiness with any other woman? She was it for me. If anything ever happened to her, I didn’t think I could go on. She was as essential to my survival as the air I breathed.

The tears finally stopped, and I carried Bella to our room. Neither of us spoke the rest of the night. We held each other all night and gently stroked the other’s face or back and placed chaste kisses everywhere on our faces. It was a night of much needed love and reassurance.

I spent a good portion of the night contemplating the note Victoria left for me. I was relieved that she was no longer targeting Bella with her torment. Bella couldn’t handle much more of the mind games. My biggest concern right now was for the safety of Bella and my family. She obviously knew hurting any of them was the best way to hurt me.

I needed to come up with a plan to bring Victoria out of hiding. She was extremely careful not to let Bayleigh know where she was hiding, so I couldn’t use her. There had to be something that would be tempting enough to have her show her face. Once I figured it out, there would be no stopping me. Victoria thought turning her little game on me would give her the upper hand. I couldn’t wait to prove her wrong.